The Papageno Diaries!

Running from Fear

I’ve woken up this morning not knowing what to do. We had some ridiculous offers on Papageno last night. And I mean ridiculous. 4000 euros being one of them. Then adjusted to 6000 euros.

When we refused he said:

“Goodbye and especially good luck.”

Good luck? How about I shove your good luck right up your-

Ahem, apologies.

I’m getting to the point where I’m thinking- will anyone actually love Papageno as much as me? Will anyone appreciate her as much as me?

I’m not saying I’m having doubts.

looking out

Ok, I’m lying.

I’m having doubts.

Life on Papageno was hard. It sucked sometimes. Going through all of that at the same time worrying if my relationship was going to last or not. The cracks started too show in August. We were both having a hard time and Edouard was realising some important things about himself and the direction he wanted to go in.

So what do I do?

Do I sell my boat, go home and start again? Do I keep Papageno for the next few months, think about it and then sell her? Do I think about it for a few months and save as much money as I can in the UK? Do up her rig and sail? I could sail her three months at a time, return home three months, and go back. I can be free. I can travel where I want. Stick to the anchorages and avoid marina fees.

I’ve been feeling like I need to sell Papageno quickly because the marina can’t keep us further than Nov 1st. The marina nearest to us can’t have us either.

I’ve been worried about anchorages because I need to fix an automatic bilge pump in Papageno in case she takes on any water. I’m also scared of someone breaking in- which is probably ridiculous because I have nothing to steal. I’m scared of her getting damaged by a storm, even though hurricane season is over very soon. I’m worried about her drifting even though I have four anchors and can spider her. I’m scared about doing all of this alone. I’m scared of not being good enough to fix her. I’m scared of taking that first step solo. I’m scared of changing my mind.

Again.

But then I think about getting her masts up. Her rig in place. Her sails. I think of sailing her wherever I want. I think of FINALLY getting her new mattresses installed. Getting the inside painted. A beautiful bathroom installed. I think of waking up in the morning somewhere maybe slightly cooler than the burning Caribbean winds. Of having a crew.

Maybe.

My dream is to get her back to Europe.

I can feel my own disappointment in myself.

I know I have come far.

But for me, it wasn’t far enough.

And I don’t know why I’m talking like this right now. But I think it’s because I’m thinking of how I will feel about myself if I sold Papageno. And a life if I kept her.

I think it’s about balance.

I have no idea what I should do. But I’m going to see where the next couple of weeks take me. If someone will love her as much as I do. If someone will take her to the lengths she deserves to go. Or whether I’m just going to be accosted with ridiculous offers.

I got so far.

I know what my spirit is like. I get restless. I’m imaging my life in England. What’s to say that the same feeling that has crept up on me every year of my life won’t creep on me again? The restlessness, the unquenchable feeling I should be doing something, the dissatisfaction, the feeling that I should be somewhere else.

What is my reason for getting rid of Papageno? The fear. The intense fear of sitting within her and remembering all of my failures. Of my loss. The loneliness.

Of remembering how much I loved someone and lost them.

It was my foolishness that decided to sell Papageno because of Edouard. My heartbreak. My need to run away and escape.

Because everything was just too hard.

How could I ever fix the engine? How could I ever do the electricity? How could I ever afford the rig?

How could I do any of this alone?

So, it’s fear.

And I don’t want to be afraid.

I want to have that experience that I’ve been chasing for all of my life. I want to have that freedom that I’ve been hunting.

And I want to write. I want to paint.

But that’s the balance again. Taking the time out for myself. So how about I live on my boat and do what the fuck I want to do? Go where I want to go? Go home when I need to? I can come and go from Papageno as freely as I wish. There is nothing stopping me. The only limitations I have are the ones that I have put on myself.

I could change my mind tomorrow. I could decide that indeed everything is too hard. I could decide that I would rather go home and start again. But I think I will always be ashamed of myself.

Because that’s the reality. That is my honesty.

I want to run because it’s hard.

I want to run because I’m afraid.

I want to run because I’m heartbroken.

But I do not want to be ashamed of myself.

I don’t want to think I am a failure.

That I’m weak.

And I know my friends and family and even you will tell me I’m not.

But I will feel it. I will feel it every time I say,

“I used to have a boat.”

“Oh yeah? Why not now?”

I can already feel my hesitation to answer. Because it was hard. I was afraid. And heartbroken.

I sold the one thing I had worked so hard and so long for because I became alone.

For the first time, I don’t know what my Granddad would tell me. I don’t know what he would tell me.

But on Papageno, I would dream of him. And he was always proud of me and smiling. And I knew I was doing the right thing.

I can’t bear to imagine the disappointment on my family’s faces at Christmas when they hear I gave up on my dream. Seeing that look in their eyes that they’re not surprised. That I’ve always been a bit of a failure. I never bought that house, got married, had a stable job or had children. I never was present. I was always dreaming, far away, drifting in the clouds and fog in the distance. Because what could a dreamer expect? If you weave your reality from the elements such as fairy dust and smoke?

Maybe I’m a coward.

Laura would get me up in the mornings, full of energy and intent on making Papageno better. I would just want to lie in my bed reading my book, my insides twisting with pain as I would constantly check my phone to see if Edouard had called me or sent a message.

I just wanted to mourn. To heal. To do nothing and simply be until the sun went down and the night would hide me in her darkness again.

I wanted to drift until the pain went away.

Edouard and I are very afraid for tomorrow. The day we say, maybe not goodbye, but “see you later.”

I held him so tight last night, trying to imagine casually saying goodbye to him.

“I thought I would be ok on Tuesday,” I said to him in the dark. “Because we’ve been getting along so well. We’ve talked. We know our paths. But every time I think about it, I feel sick.”

“I know, Lizzie,” he replied quietly. “I’m not looking forward to it either.”

“I hope in the future we come back together.”

“That is why we are doing this.”

I woke this morning to find that eBay had taken down my boat listing for the second time in a row and suspended my account, because of “Suspicious activity”. Of course, it looked suspicious. An English girl attempting to sell a French boat in the Caribbean.

Even eBay was like, “Watcha doing, gurll?”

Edouard was speaking to me about accepting the offer of 6000 euros as a joke if I couldn’t sell Papageno.

“No. No way.”

I started talking about anchoring her up over Christmas instead around the corner. About waiting. Then I started thinking maybe I would be ok by February. Maybe I would have saved enough money for the rig then. But I was still scared. How would I take the boat to the boat yard on my own? Maybe I would get a crew?

But I was scared of that too.

To invite people to live with you. In case I’m a disappointment. In case I’m too tired to be on top of my game. In case I just want to be alone for a while. To heal. Regenerate.

These things may sound small to other people. But for some reason everything is amplified. The simplest of things I knew I could do with Edouard has suddenly reduced to ash and dust in my mouth as my heart begins to beat faster.

Can I do it? Can I do it?

I don’t know.

I don’t know what to do.

25 comments

  1. You can do it Liz. There are other options than selling her. If this marina can’t keep her, find another one hat can. Or haul her out while you return home to rest and make some money. You have this boat because it gives you freedom and it enables you to pursue your art. It’s the exact same reason I have my boat. I am stuck in a marina in my hometown. I moved to the UK with the intention of never coming back home again. Sometimes shit doesn’t work out the way we envisioned it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work out at all. I recognise a lot of your struggle. I focus way too much on the beautiful tanned people sailing the Caribbean with what seems to be like a self replenishing cash flow. But I am not those people and I have to learn to accept that there are such things as money problems and massive anxiety because I am currently also alone. If you look at your situation objectively, and cut out all the emotions and feelings (which I understand is impossible), it purely is a money problem. If you had the money to do her up, you wouldn’t think about selling her. So if you are tired, learn to rest and don’t forget we are the dreamers that entered the arena. It will take blood and dust. There is no shame in this. I send you love.

  2. Liz, sending you a very big hug! I sent you an email as this post totally resonates. I think once you see her mast and rigging up you will feel completely differently about her. Don’t give up just yet. Give yourself some space and wrap yourself in loving appreciation. Ignore that haters and the silly offers, you deserve the best. xox

  3. Lizbef, I completely understand the fear aspect but I would implore you to not rush into anything just yet. It’s early days and you have an amazing opportunity it’s just whether it’s manageable or not and you need some “me” time and a trustworthy mentor to bounce ideas off. At this moment in time you are a boat owner presently berthed in a beautiful area where peace and tranquillity go together. The area is ideal for your purposes as you need some seclusion to be able to fulfil your ambition of being undisturbed to allow your enormous talents to flow onto paper. For the life of me I cannot think of a more ideal situation for your future than what you presently have. There are massive obstacles in maintaining that but when did that stop you?…… Please don’t lose your chance here and just calm down as much as you can and find that “brick” who you can bounce ideas off in the interim. I’d be looking towards Nike Seger on WhiteSpotPirates for inspiration and how she has learnt and developed her skills. The background and the dreams are so alike that I would feel she may just be your spark.
    Phil

  4. Lisbeth, you need time to heal. Take the offer, go back to love ones in England and regroup. The boat is too big for a single sailor. Save you money and get a boat that is smaller and ready to sail. You are a great person and true love will be knocking on your door. You have learned much from this adventure. All successful people have mis-steps along the way. Your future is bright. God Bless

  5. I think you’re starting to think straight. Create some time to think about it. You’d have more adventures with P. Than without.

  6. Speaking from experience, as in, I got a boat that hadn’t sailed in 30 years and thought I’d be anchored out the next month.. it took me 4 years. I had good money coming in and it still took me 4 years. I have never been so proud of anything, because as a single woman I gave it everything I had. It helped heal my broken heart, and continues to do so. I had to take breaks as well. A 42’er is a huge feat, and getting her sailing again isn’t going to happen right away. But it absolutely is possible, especially with a broken heart, but only if that’s the direction you want it to go. Time will tell, and you will know what the right decision is when the time comes. Best of luck, hugs xoxo

  7. As a fellow female who has always been a dreamer, you have a real chance! Dream of your future, sailing Papageno on the sea❤
    It will be hard work but nothing that you cannot accomplish!
    Get someone who is willing to help out as your crew. Someone who is upbeat and willing to take on a challenge!
    Laura perhaps?
    There is a YouTube video to instruct you in fixing almost everything!
    And for the things that you cannot do alone, there are people who are knowledgeable and will help.
    You can always live aboard, get a job in a restaurant in the area where you are anchored and work on her in your spare time. When I first started watching Delos, they were taking a few months off at a time to work and make money. I remember Mr. Brady saying that he “has rolled burritos in many places”.
    No shame in doing what you have to do to make your dream come true!
    Best wishes to you ❤
    Do it for all of us dreamers ❤

  8. Lizbef
    Cheak out svhappymondays on Facebook and Instagram because I’m just putting it out there to you,we are setting off June/July next year to the Caribbean and we need crew hint hint, haul her our come home dust yourself off and return like a sailor,

  9. Love conquers fear. Fear is from an evil place, pushes us in directions love wouldn’t want us to go. I know the rig will cost alot, but also adds to the value of both the boat, and your sense of accomplishment and strength. After the rigging’s on, it’d also be easier to sell (a sailboat that actually sails), if your heart isn’t in it afterwards. Personally I’m kinda glad you’re not getting a decent offer, hope it’s the universe telling you this isn’t over yet.

    Even Delos had to stop and replenish along the way, so no shame in pushing the pause button, working and earning some and then coming back to it with refreshed energy and funding.

    We all want to retreat to our comfort place, warm cuppa under the duvet, And while that’s good once in awhile, it’s not really good for us to retreat daily in the long term (just makes us lazy hermits).

    Keep writing, thinking it through and fighting the good fight. Looking forward to your tomorrow, no matter what you decide.

    Rick, the old guy in London. xx

  10. Your boat is the only stable thing in your life right now, fight to hold on to it. Im seventy six years old, flew two years in viet Nam, lived in a lot of different countries, done a lot of things and a lot of ups and downs but thing always seem to work out in the end. Never give in to fear, It will cause you to make bad decisions you will regret later. Your boat has good bones, youre letting the little things overwhelm you. Theres a lot of truth to the old saying Its always darkest just before the dawn. Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things to overcome in life but you will survive and move on.Youre a gifted writer and someday your adventures will make a good book. Hope im around to read it. Hang in there and hold on to your boat.

  11. You, are a beautiful, brilliant 15 carat Diamond, young lady and don’t ever forget it!

    You know inside, really how brave, talented and smart you are. You are emotionally bruised at the moment, vulnerable and doubting yourself. Don’t. Go with your plan. Sell Papageno,. You have been there and done that and basically, you have done exceedingly well. Pat yourself on the back and don’t doubt, don’t put yourself down or listen to the shit of anyone (the minority) who might. My Grandmother used to say,”Those who know me, know me better. And those who don’t, don’t matter!”

    Be proud! Look on everything you have achieved in your 30 years of being alive. Some people never achieve a fraction of this, in 70 years! You are only young, really, with a whole lifetime ahead of you for further achievements. Success is measured only in what matters to, and makes us happy.

    Become a nomad, live a colourful life. Do, “do whatever want”. You’re not restricted by this life’s event. You will always have your art and writing, you obviously, can take this with you wherever you go. You have memories and you are going to make many more.

    “Those who know you love you and are proud of your achievements. We’ve never met you and we are.

    Sorry, if this is too personal coming from random strangers, however, we feel we know you a little
    now. We also know there is even more depth to you than you may even know yourself. We hate to see you beating up on yourself, when you should be so proud! It may be because you are so independent and determined that it is difficult to accept the end of one chapter. However, there are, many more to come.

    So (as distant friends), we are trying to advise. You can take it for what it is or just throw it away with the dishwater. That’s your choice. We don’t intend to patronise or preach, just help. We know that you are broken hearted and grief stricken and that it’s not easy to be in this position, just, go to a safe place for a while, allow yourself to be loved and nurtured with people you don’t feel you need to sing, dance and entertain to. Find acceptance from within, of yourself and then move on to a brand new chapter and new adventures. If you want to travel then do it by whatever means drives you, be it sailboats, campervans or whatever you wish. You know you can, you’re not afraid to try. You’re not afraid of hard work. You’re not afraid of new people, new places.

    You can and you will. You are an accomplished artist and writer. You are brave and you’re beautiful from the inside out. You were not meant to be alone or lonely in this life. You are meant to eventually (or sooner) be part of a loving couple. There is too much of a richness in you not to be shared. People come into our lives journeys, some are forever and some just passing through. We may be here to learn, but we are also here to teach, maybe the passers through are here to learn from you.. Ultimately there is a plan for us all, we believe.. Take from them what you need and just leave the rest the same as we can look into lots of religious beliefs – or not, and you take what strikes a chord with you and build up a philosophy of your own. Just because you may be born into a particular religion doesn’t mean you have to stick blindly to its rules or remain stuck with them. We can choose our own philosophy’s as long as it works for us.

    On a final note, we have a beautiful 15 year old daughter named Honour, whatever she does in her life we will be there. As long as she achieves happiness from whatever paths she chooses then we will be content and happy for her. Proud of her! That’s a given. Like you she is beautifully natured, has a kind and generous spirit and has the courage of her own convictions. And like you, she doesn’t yet know how much of a Diamond she really is.

    Ps. We didn’t send this to be published, just to try and help, even just a little.

    Love and hugs , Marquita Gilchrist xxx

  12. Hi,
    I know the pain you are feeling is eating you up inside…. It burns your energy, and makes all choices 10 times harder. I am sorry that right now is not the time for you two to be together. But maybe the future will draw you back together.
    Please, stop….stop thinking of running, stop thinking of everything that is overwhelming. Just be. Give yourself a week or two to just sit with your pain and let yourself mourn…let your mind and body rest. When you take the time to cry and weep, and really feel, the healing will come.
    Selling a boat is a big deal. It isn’t something that should be taken on split second. It was an investment in your hopes and dreams for the future…Don’t sell her to grieve, it will just be more of a loss. I agree with some of the other posters…either haul her for a year, then get back to working on her when you save some cash, or anchor her and get a job where you are to make cash. Invite friends to visit and cheer you once you are feeling better.
    FYI…An electric bilge pump requires about $400. for parts and install…and some sort of solar to keep her powered up….maybe one 100 amp panel on a side rail? 4″ Mattresses(we use toppers over old foam and then use zippered full waterproof encasement) are about 100 each, you cut them to fit odd size with box cutter. **My old sailboat is a 1979, and we have many inexpensive work arounds 😉
    You can have it all, but please take the time to let yourself feel it all.
    Much love and support!
    You are strong and resilient…
    You will make the choice when it is the right time.
    Jules

  13. I understand you’re broken hearted. I’d hate to see you give up you’re dream because of it. If you can get Papageno to a safe place to buy you time to regroup, you might be in a better frame of mind to make the right decision for you after you’ve had some time to heal mentally and financially. I’ve seen Sailing Miss Lone Star go through it and she came out on the right side of her dreams. I’d love to see you get Papageno fixed and sailed back to Europe. Chin up!

  14. I was on the fence about responding because I’m pretty sure someone else will pipe up with this at some point because there are millions of us out here who passed on the hard thing only to regret it.

    The only thing harder than fear is regret.

    I feel like this is no time to pat you on the back and say “it’s going to be alright” because maybe it won’t. But if you do not pursue a dream then you’ve already failed.

    And as far as Edward going back to France, that does not mean you have to stop breathing. He’s doing what HE needs to do to satisfy HIS forward motion. The two of you are not one person and that probably only works in fairy tails anyway. You are an individual, you can breathe on your own and to attempt to wallow in a dream state of ‘why’ is just a dis-service to your own story.

    Some advice from someone who’s nearing 50 years old, Fear subsides and regret hurts a hell of a lot worse than a break up because regret stares you in the face every morning.

    https://youtu.be/2Dx7lHKH5I0
    This You tube account is a testament to “Let’s do this damn thing”

  15. So breakups suck. But it’s going to suck anywhere you go.
    … for a while.
    But then, it gets better.

    From personal experience, that restlessness comes back. You will want to go. To see. To adventure.
    So don’t throw away what you’ve been working to create for yourself because you’re stuck in the “for a while.”
    My human & I have been talking about this & his advice for you was, “try your best to use that brain of yours through the fog you’re caught in for now.”
    So, Lizbef,
    SAIL on.

  16. I really hate to say it but it’s time to get out. Minimize the loss as much as you can but you paid far too much for it. Find a more realistic dream on a far smaller and better boat after you have accumulated twice the funds you think you need. Get rid of the money pit. The sooner the better. You did not fail. You learnt a valuable life lesson. You will get past it. It will be a memory soon. Sorry but I did try and warn you.

  17. Liz, you can still do this….
    Your masts have been repaired… work towards getting the rigging up.

    Find a way sailing her back to the UK… with a convoy maybe?
    Speak to people, their must be a way once Papageno is ready to start sailing

    Settle down in the UK with papageno and gradually over several years restore her one step at a time and keep learning about sailing and get some RYA certification

    (All of this while learning French and melting your mans heart all over again)

    You can do this, just probably not in the time frame you expected….. all the good things in life don’t come easy

    Follow your dreams, you are a shining example of the human spirit

    Lots of love to you and Edourd

  18. Hi Lizbef, some practical advice for you to maybe help you with your decision making process. First of all, separate your emotional desire for Papageno from your practical desire. You obviously want to do this emotionally if it is possible from a practical standpoint. So, that narrows down the questions you need to answer. As a couple that has just gone thru this process of bringing a boat back to life (on a bit larger scale and under different circumstances because we are older and have access to some funds you may not), I think we’ve become experts on making the practical decision. Here it goes.

    First, figure out what condition you want want/need to restore Papageno to in order to fulfill your dream. Create a very honest list of all those things that will need to be done to meet that standard. Because of the condition you found Papageno in, you need to be very conservative and honest in your assessment. Look at every aspect of the boat that you have come to know and assess it: hull/keel/rudder, rig/sails, deck hardware, electronics, propulsion, safety, plumbing, electrical, canvas, cosmetics. Create a master list of items sorted in these categories. Then evaluate each item as to whether you can fix it your self or will need to pay others to do so. For the items you know you can do yourself or can learn how to, estimate how many hours it will take you and triple it. And add estimates for costs to buy materials. For the items you will have to hire out, you can typically get estimates by soliciting on message boards on line.

    Now you have budgets for both the work you will hire out (in cost) as well as the work you will do yourself (in hours). The time component for the self-perform work is important because that will tell you how long you will need to keep the boat somewhere until it is in condition for you to depart. That could add up to several weeks or months, so you need to now start thinking realistically about whether you can get it done with the boat in the water at anchor or whether you need to find a yard to place it on the hard where you can still live aboard. That raises some interim challenges to overcome with Leela, but you will get the job done much sooner. You would also have access to electricity and perhaps could rig a small air conditioner to make your life more comfortable onshore.

    Now you can tabulate the cost component and the time component and see if you have the practical means to accomplish this or, just as important, if the value proposition is there. What I mean by that is if you have 10,000 euros invested right now and you determine it’s going to take another 15,000 to 25,000 euros and 6 months to get everything done, in the end do you really have a boat worth what you have invested in terms of time and money? For the same amount of investment could you sell Papageno and buy another boat that is much more ready to go? You may decide that the dream is still worthy, but this may not be the right boat. And if that is the case and you have a chance to sell her now and get most or all of your money out of her, you should jump on it. On the other hand, you may determine that it does indeed make a minimum amount of practical sense (subjectively, relative to your dream) and you should charge ahead. The thing is to be very honest and realistic with your assessment. You guys have been able to repair that engine a few times, but if it totally fails, you are looking at $20,000 USD or more for a new one. If your sails prove to be worn out, that’s another $8,000 USD. But if you can have someone tell you the engine is solid and just needs some basic repairs or the sails can be re-sewn and patched up, that’s a different answer.

    For us, the key was to have the facts, weigh them against the desire of the dream, and make a decision that balances practicality with emotion. Then, whatever you decide, you can proceed knowing that you made the right decision for yourself.

    Best of luck.

    https;//svechappe.blogspot.com
    http://www.instagram.com/svechappe/

  19. I read some where
    F.E.A.R. Fudge Everything And Run.
    F.E.A.R. False Events Appear Real.
    R.E.A.R. Face Everything And Recover.
    I like your thinking in this post, in that your are now fearful of not having a ‘sailing’ boat…..
    The one thing that had you happy. You are right, living aboard in a quiet ankorage writing, painting is the perfect life, just work at it, it will take years buf oh what a life.
    The rush since getting to the boat and to its current location has been high stress, remember that. Ur in blighty, work to get funds for the rig. Get the mast on, find a safe place to park her while off working for more funds. Great life of travel AND progress. You will have an income writing and ur art sales to eventually live aboard.

  20. Can you do it? Probably. Remember you’re awesome! The harder question is – do you want to? If you don’t, don’t. If you do, you’ll find a way. I don’t believe in regrets, the story of your life can’t be judged. It is what it is, you will learn and grow whatever you decide. Oh and running away can be a good thing. If we never ran away from scary things, we’d get eaten! Or was the question rhetorical? In which case ignore me, what do I know!? Thank you for telling your story, I feel privileged to share, in some small way, in such an honest and open expression of what you are going through and wish you all the luck for the future.

  21. Dear Lizbef! You are the greatest miracle in the world! There has never been, is, or ever will be another like you.

    You, and your dreams are unique as you. Always, Always remember that! You have a purpose and a dream. And that dream is exclusively your. To hell with what others think.
    Yes, even those with whom we love. Emotional decisions are the hardest, and take time to make, and even more time to heal. Time is necessary though, but investing the time in yourself is not considered failure. It is considered healing time, especially when it comes to Love!

    Initially, Papageno, (herself), was not a part of your dream…Your dream included a vessel like Papageno, but not Papageno proper! Sell her or Not Sell her, the choice is your. What ever you decide does not make you a failure, it make you stand out more than anyone else as a dream chaser…They are so few and far between, that common man/women do not recognize excellence even when it is right before there face. Keep and protect your dream and don’t let the dream stealers in! Never, Never, Never Doubt Yourself!!! (Emphasis related to WInston Churchill’s WW2 speach but for another topic)

    Starting over is never a failure…even if you decide to chase another dream or change the dream you have! DO you know how few people actually have a dream? You are the gifted and blessed!

    Remember there is no one else quite like you, your amazing wordsmithing abilities, your smile and your wit!

    Keep your head high and heart opened. Take time to heal!

    Love reading your work, and my prayers are with you!

    Neil Stagner

  22. LizBef, I suggest you look at the sale of Papageno rather differently.

    You have decided to let go of your Papageno dream. That means just that: let go. You have chosen to sever the emotional bond; what’s left now is the practical process of cutting the ties and freeing yourself to move on.

    Beware of what economists call “the fallacy of sunk costs”. In other words, the time and money you have put into Papageno has already been spent. It has little to do with your decisions now.

    So now you need to look at her from the point of view of a potential buyer.

    Restoring her to offshore sailing capability is a huge project. She needs mast repairs, new standing and running rigging, news electronics systems, and probably a major engine overhaul and some new deck gear. Plus a huge amount of interior work, which always costs way more time and money than bargained for. All this will have to be done in a place where incomes are low and costs high, and even the bill for long-term storage needed for a proper refit will massively exceed her current asking price. (The usual rule of thumb is that immediately after a refit, the value increases by 10% of the money spent. As time passes, that 10% sinks even lower. Boats are depreciating assets).

    That sounds cruel, but the Caribbean is awash with old boats for sale, and if restoration is needed then buyers prefer to do that closer to where they live in the richer countries.

    So it will cost a lot of time and money, and when it is done her resale value will be way less than the cash spent on restoration, with no return on the thousands of hour of time spent.

    Sadly, Papageno is a v tired 50-year-old boat with little inherent monetary value. Basically, what you are selling is simply an opportunity for someone with a lot of energy and a lot of cash to follow their dream, as you followed yours. There are plenty of other very tired old boats on which they could build their dream, and unless they fall in love with Papageno, they have no reason to pay more than a knockdown price.

    You may get a bit more than that €6,000 … but that is probably a more accurate valuation than your asking price. You are competing with plenty of other hurricane-damaged boats for sale, e.g. see this Yachtworld search for 38 to 44foot sailboats in the Carribbean for less than €25,000 : https://www.yachtworld.co.uk/core/listing/cache/searchResults.jsp?cit=true&slim=quick&ybw=&sm=3&searchtype=advancedsearch&Ntk=boatsUK&Ntt=&is=false&man=&hmid=0&ftid=0&enid=0&type=%28Sail%29&fromLength=38&toLength=44&fromYear=&toYear=&fromPrice=&toPrice=25000&luom=126&currencyid=1004&city=&rid=115&pbsint=&boatsAddedSelected=-1 .. and that’s only Yachtworld, which is rarely the best path for selling boats in that price range. But even so, you are asking only a few hundred less than this roomier boat with engine running and rig standing: https://www.yachtworld.co.uk/boats/1987/morgan-classic-3235352/

    This is a buyer’s market. The longer you keep Pagaeno, the more you will have to spend on keeping her safe until sold. So time is against you.

  23. I think, regardless of what you are going to do after, you have to get the rig up. You can’t sell a boat without rigging and you can’t sail one to build your youtube and blog following if you have no rig. Also, with sails on the boat, you don’t have to depend so much on the engine, giving you time and wiggle room to improve the powerplant. Either way…Rig up Darlin’.

  24. The sea, your boat, the adventures she will take you on and the relationships you make along the way will heal you…

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