You can do it Liz. There are other options than selling her. If this marina can’t keep her, find another one hat can. Or haul her out while you return home to rest and make some money. You have this boat because it gives you freedom and it enables you to pursue your art. It’s the exact same reason I have my boat. I am stuck in a marina in my hometown. I moved to the UK with the intention of never coming back home again. Sometimes shit doesn’t work out the way we envisioned it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work out at all. I recognise a lot of your struggle. I focus way too much on the beautiful tanned people sailing the Caribbean with what seems to be like a self replenishing cash flow. But I am not those people and I have to learn to accept that there are such things as money problems and massive anxiety because I am currently also alone. If you look at your situation objectively, and cut out all the emotions and feelings (which I understand is impossible), it purely is a money problem. If you had the money to do her up, you wouldn’t think about selling her. So if you are tired, learn to rest and don’t forget we are the dreamers that entered the arena. It will take blood and dust. There is no shame in this. I send you love.

Lizbef, I completely understand the fear aspect but I would implore you to not rush into anything just yet. It’s early days and you have an amazing opportunity it’s just whether it’s manageable or not and you need some “me” time and a trustworthy mentor to bounce ideas off. At this moment in time you are a boat owner presently berthed in a beautiful area where peace and tranquillity go together. The area is ideal for your purposes as you need some seclusion to be able to fulfil your ambition of being undisturbed to allow your enormous talents to flow onto paper. For the life of me I cannot think of a more ideal situation for your future than what you presently have. There are massive obstacles in maintaining that but when did that stop you?…… Please don’t lose your chance here and just calm down as much as you can and find that “brick” who you can bounce ideas off in the interim. I’d be looking towards Nike Seger on WhiteSpotPirates for inspiration and how she has learnt and developed her skills. The background and the dreams are so alike that I would feel she may just be your spark.
Phil

I think you’re starting to think straight. Create some time to think about it. You’d have more adventures with P. Than without.

As a fellow female who has always been a dreamer, you have a real chance! Dream of your future, sailing Papageno on the sea❤
It will be hard work but nothing that you cannot accomplish!
Get someone who is willing to help out as your crew. Someone who is upbeat and willing to take on a challenge!
Laura perhaps?
There is a YouTube video to instruct you in fixing almost everything!
And for the things that you cannot do alone, there are people who are knowledgeable and will help.
You can always live aboard, get a job in a restaurant in the area where you are anchored and work on her in your spare time. When I first started watching Delos, they were taking a few months off at a time to work and make money. I remember Mr. Brady saying that he “has rolled burritos in many places”.
No shame in doing what you have to do to make your dream come true!
Best wishes to you ❤
Do it for all of us dreamers ❤

Love conquers fear. Fear is from an evil place, pushes us in directions love wouldn’t want us to go. I know the rig will cost alot, but also adds to the value of both the boat, and your sense of accomplishment and strength. After the rigging’s on, it’d also be easier to sell (a sailboat that actually sails), if your heart isn’t in it afterwards. Personally I’m kinda glad you’re not getting a decent offer, hope it’s the universe telling you this isn’t over yet.

Even Delos had to stop and replenish along the way, so no shame in pushing the pause button, working and earning some and then coming back to it with refreshed energy and funding.

We all want to retreat to our comfort place, warm cuppa under the duvet, And while that’s good once in awhile, it’s not really good for us to retreat daily in the long term (just makes us lazy hermits).

Keep writing, thinking it through and fighting the good fight. Looking forward to your tomorrow, no matter what you decide.

Rick, the old guy in London. xx

Your boat is the only stable thing in your life right now, fight to hold on to it. Im seventy six years old, flew two years in viet Nam, lived in a lot of different countries, done a lot of things and a lot of ups and downs but thing always seem to work out in the end. Never give in to fear, It will cause you to make bad decisions you will regret later. Your boat has good bones, youre letting the little things overwhelm you. Theres a lot of truth to the old saying Its always darkest just before the dawn. Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things to overcome in life but you will survive and move on.Youre a gifted writer and someday your adventures will make a good book. Hope im around to read it. Hang in there and hold on to your boat.

Hi,
I know the pain you are feeling is eating you up inside…. It burns your energy, and makes all choices 10 times harder. I am sorry that right now is not the time for you two to be together. But maybe the future will draw you back together.
Please, stop….stop thinking of running, stop thinking of everything that is overwhelming. Just be. Give yourself a week or two to just sit with your pain and let yourself mourn…let your mind and body rest. When you take the time to cry and weep, and really feel, the healing will come.
Selling a boat is a big deal. It isn’t something that should be taken on split second. It was an investment in your hopes and dreams for the future…Don’t sell her to grieve, it will just be more of a loss. I agree with some of the other posters…either haul her for a year, then get back to working on her when you save some cash, or anchor her and get a job where you are to make cash. Invite friends to visit and cheer you once you are feeling better.
FYI…An electric bilge pump requires about $400. for parts and install…and some sort of solar to keep her powered up….maybe one 100 amp panel on a side rail? 4″ Mattresses(we use toppers over old foam and then use zippered full waterproof encasement) are about 100 each, you cut them to fit odd size with box cutter. **My old sailboat is a 1979, and we have many inexpensive work arounds 😉
You can have it all, but please take the time to let yourself feel it all.
Much love and support!
You are strong and resilient…
You will make the choice when it is the right time.
Jules

I was on the fence about responding because I’m pretty sure someone else will pipe up with this at some point because there are millions of us out here who passed on the hard thing only to regret it.

The only thing harder than fear is regret.

I feel like this is no time to pat you on the back and say “it’s going to be alright” because maybe it won’t. But if you do not pursue a dream then you’ve already failed.

And as far as Edward going back to France, that does not mean you have to stop breathing. He’s doing what HE needs to do to satisfy HIS forward motion. The two of you are not one person and that probably only works in fairy tails anyway. You are an individual, you can breathe on your own and to attempt to wallow in a dream state of ‘why’ is just a dis-service to your own story.

Some advice from someone who’s nearing 50 years old, Fear subsides and regret hurts a hell of a lot worse than a break up because regret stares you in the face every morning.

https://youtu.be/2Dx7lHKH5I0
This You tube account is a testament to “Let’s do this damn thing”

I really hate to say it but it’s time to get out. Minimize the loss as much as you can but you paid far too much for it. Find a more realistic dream on a far smaller and better boat after you have accumulated twice the funds you think you need. Get rid of the money pit. The sooner the better. You did not fail. You learnt a valuable life lesson. You will get past it. It will be a memory soon. Sorry but I did try and warn you.

Hi Lizbef, some practical advice for you to maybe help you with your decision making process. First of all, separate your emotional desire for Papageno from your practical desire. You obviously want to do this emotionally if it is possible from a practical standpoint. So, that narrows down the questions you need to answer. As a couple that has just gone thru this process of bringing a boat back to life (on a bit larger scale and under different circumstances because we are older and have access to some funds you may not), I think we’ve become experts on making the practical decision. Here it goes.

First, figure out what condition you want want/need to restore Papageno to in order to fulfill your dream. Create a very honest list of all those things that will need to be done to meet that standard. Because of the condition you found Papageno in, you need to be very conservative and honest in your assessment. Look at every aspect of the boat that you have come to know and assess it: hull/keel/rudder, rig/sails, deck hardware, electronics, propulsion, safety, plumbing, electrical, canvas, cosmetics. Create a master list of items sorted in these categories. Then evaluate each item as to whether you can fix it your self or will need to pay others to do so. For the items you know you can do yourself or can learn how to, estimate how many hours it will take you and triple it. And add estimates for costs to buy materials. For the items you will have to hire out, you can typically get estimates by soliciting on message boards on line.

Now you have budgets for both the work you will hire out (in cost) as well as the work you will do yourself (in hours). The time component for the self-perform work is important because that will tell you how long you will need to keep the boat somewhere until it is in condition for you to depart. That could add up to several weeks or months, so you need to now start thinking realistically about whether you can get it done with the boat in the water at anchor or whether you need to find a yard to place it on the hard where you can still live aboard. That raises some interim challenges to overcome with Leela, but you will get the job done much sooner. You would also have access to electricity and perhaps could rig a small air conditioner to make your life more comfortable onshore.

Now you can tabulate the cost component and the time component and see if you have the practical means to accomplish this or, just as important, if the value proposition is there. What I mean by that is if you have 10,000 euros invested right now and you determine it’s going to take another 15,000 to 25,000 euros and 6 months to get everything done, in the end do you really have a boat worth what you have invested in terms of time and money? For the same amount of investment could you sell Papageno and buy another boat that is much more ready to go? You may decide that the dream is still worthy, but this may not be the right boat. And if that is the case and you have a chance to sell her now and get most or all of your money out of her, you should jump on it. On the other hand, you may determine that it does indeed make a minimum amount of practical sense (subjectively, relative to your dream) and you should charge ahead. The thing is to be very honest and realistic with your assessment. You guys have been able to repair that engine a few times, but if it totally fails, you are looking at $20,000 USD or more for a new one. If your sails prove to be worn out, that’s another $8,000 USD. But if you can have someone tell you the engine is solid and just needs some basic repairs or the sails can be re-sewn and patched up, that’s a different answer.

For us, the key was to have the facts, weigh them against the desire of the dream, and make a decision that balances practicality with emotion. Then, whatever you decide, you can proceed knowing that you made the right decision for yourself.

Best of luck.

https;//svechappe.blogspot.com
http://www.instagram.com/svechappe/

Can you do it? Probably. Remember you’re awesome! The harder question is – do you want to? If you don’t, don’t. If you do, you’ll find a way. I don’t believe in regrets, the story of your life can’t be judged. It is what it is, you will learn and grow whatever you decide. Oh and running away can be a good thing. If we never ran away from scary things, we’d get eaten! Or was the question rhetorical? In which case ignore me, what do I know!? Thank you for telling your story, I feel privileged to share, in some small way, in such an honest and open expression of what you are going through and wish you all the luck for the future.

LizBef, I suggest you look at the sale of Papageno rather differently.

You have decided to let go of your Papageno dream. That means just that: let go. You have chosen to sever the emotional bond; what’s left now is the practical process of cutting the ties and freeing yourself to move on.

Beware of what economists call “the fallacy of sunk costs”. In other words, the time and money you have put into Papageno has already been spent. It has little to do with your decisions now.

So now you need to look at her from the point of view of a potential buyer.

Restoring her to offshore sailing capability is a huge project. She needs mast repairs, new standing and running rigging, news electronics systems, and probably a major engine overhaul and some new deck gear. Plus a huge amount of interior work, which always costs way more time and money than bargained for. All this will have to be done in a place where incomes are low and costs high, and even the bill for long-term storage needed for a proper refit will massively exceed her current asking price. (The usual rule of thumb is that immediately after a refit, the value increases by 10% of the money spent. As time passes, that 10% sinks even lower. Boats are depreciating assets).

That sounds cruel, but the Caribbean is awash with old boats for sale, and if restoration is needed then buyers prefer to do that closer to where they live in the richer countries.

So it will cost a lot of time and money, and when it is done her resale value will be way less than the cash spent on restoration, with no return on the thousands of hour of time spent.

Sadly, Papageno is a v tired 50-year-old boat with little inherent monetary value. Basically, what you are selling is simply an opportunity for someone with a lot of energy and a lot of cash to follow their dream, as you followed yours. There are plenty of other very tired old boats on which they could build their dream, and unless they fall in love with Papageno, they have no reason to pay more than a knockdown price.

You may get a bit more than that €6,000 … but that is probably a more accurate valuation than your asking price. You are competing with plenty of other hurricane-damaged boats for sale, e.g. see this Yachtworld search for 38 to 44foot sailboats in the Carribbean for less than €25,000 : https://www.yachtworld.co.uk/core/listing/cache/searchResults.jsp?cit=true&slim=quick&ybw=&sm=3&searchtype=advancedsearch&Ntk=boatsUK&Ntt=&is=false&man=&hmid=0&ftid=0&enid=0&type=%28Sail%29&fromLength=38&toLength=44&fromYear=&toYear=&fromPrice=&toPrice=25000&luom=126&currencyid=1004&city=&rid=115&pbsint=&boatsAddedSelected=-1 .. and that’s only Yachtworld, which is rarely the best path for selling boats in that price range. But even so, you are asking only a few hundred less than this roomier boat with engine running and rig standing: https://www.yachtworld.co.uk/boats/1987/morgan-classic-3235352/

This is a buyer’s market. The longer you keep Pagaeno, the more you will have to spend on keeping her safe until sold. So time is against you.

The sea, your boat, the adventures she will take you on and the relationships you make along the way will heal you…