Well I’m here. I’m in London, finally, sitting next to my crew mate, my Delos sister, Lisa Hopf.
It feels as though we’ve never been apart and that’s a very special feeling. We’ve been away from each other for months, following our own paths and yet still being connected to one another. I feel as though this is a lifetime connection between us.
As soon as I stepped into arrivals, I heard a shout.
I paused, unsure of where the voice was coming round. I whirled around and then stuck my head around a corner.
We ran up to each other and spun around hugging as people looked on bemused.
Safe to say, we soon celebrated with a glass of prosecco and started talking non-stop. Lisa and I usually talk everyday in any case, so it doesn’t feel like there’s a lot to catch up on. We already know everything there is to know about each other, our plans, our hopes and as artists (well, Lisa is the real artist) it’s been wonderful to talk with her about projects.
As I was saying last time, I’ve become such a hermit inside my apartment, not wanting to talk to anyone at all, throwing myself into my work like a woman possessed. Lisa is the only one I will call to talk about my work, until our call finishes and I fall back into the routine of typing away on my laptop.
To go from that to be suddenly flying hundreds of miles to be in the capital of my home country is quite a shake up from my usual day to day, wake, eat, work, work, work, eat, work, work, work, eat, sleep and repeat.
I’ve had this schedule simply because it’s so important to make sure Papageno has the best start out she can have. We have less than two weeks to close the sale. Wow, what an experience.
Sometimes I do lie in my bed at night and think- maybe it would have been easier to have had a normal life. To have been content with the normality of the everyday routine.
“What have you done, Elizabeth?” I ask myself sometimes.
And other days of course I am saying, “Yes! This is amazing! This is incredible! I can’t believe I’m doing this!”
Because I am human and it’s ok to question yourself. This is a big step and this big step will be changing the course of our lives forever. It’s not just me I have to consider, but Edouard as well.
But if we’re talking about fear, I know the scariest thing for me to do would be to do nothing. For me to stay where I am, repetitive and stagnant, unknowing of what the future will hold, giving up the adventures to an occasional holiday a year.
That terrifies me. To allow my dreams to drift off into the distance.
I have to pursue this path, I have to have strength and I have to have conviction.
It’s been nice to be thrown into London whilst I’ve been thinking all of these thoughts. We’re having a big meet up today in the city centre for a casual few drinks to talk about all things Delos. And I know when people ask what I’m doing now, I’ll be saying:
“I bought a boat.”
The adventure is not over.
It’s only just begun.
Lisa and I will be taking some time away from the business of our homes in Marseille and Austria to throw ourselves into London culture and history. I’m so excited to visit the museums and art galleries to have a good old pint in a proper British pub.
We’re also off to a Fashion Show for London Fashion Collective, invited as guests. Lisa and I aren’t exactly Vogue material, but we’ll going to go and have a good time and we’re excited to meet other creatives.
I think these seven days away are a reminder to me that there is another world out there besides from my living room with my laptop next to the radiator.
These seven days are also a reminder for me of my path. Of why I’m doing this. I will be meeting members of the Tribe tonight and that means so much. I’m incredibly excited and can’t wait to share some stories!
Delos has taught me a lot and I’m really honoured to be able to represent them in my own country. I’m incredibly proud of Britain and what she has overcome and accomplished. And yes, like any other country, of course she’s had her off days and bad periods, but I am still undoubtedly proud to be a British woman.
And as I spend time here, I will be completing the last few bits of The Delos Story. I can’t wait until it gets released to you all, to share the stories of how they all met and came to be on Delos. It’s been very humbling to be able to help them tell this story and I hope to one day to publish my own story.
The French Diaries are on their 20th extract, and I would love to compile them together to the point where we reach Papageno. On top of that, I still have my sequel from The Contract of Maddox Black that I need to release.
Wow, there’s so much to do.
But for now, I will do my best to multitask and enjoy my time with Lisa. We’re both going to the V&A Museum today and maybe even the Tate Modern. However as much as I try to focus on being in “the now”, my mind continuously flits back to masts, rigging, storage fees and everything Amel related.
Edouard is enjoying his time as much as possible in Marseille before we go and if truth be told, I’ve been inside the house so much that I actually feel a little anxious being away from my safe zone. I am in London for a week, and then return to Marseille for two days, and then fly off to see my parents for nearly three weeks. Edouard will be in Nepal during this time, helping orphanages and schools in the area, so whether I’m in Marseille or not- he won’t be there.
I haven’t seen my parents in almost a year. That’s a long time. You can change a lot in a year and I feel almost unrecognisable. The things that used to be important to me are nothing. I look back at some of the things I used to be worried or upset about and can’t even comprehend why I would spend so much energy on being concerned about them.
It’s not who I am now.
So, I suppose I’m looking forward to being with my mum and dad as the person I am now. To tell them with conviction of my plans, my dreams and my goals.
I have learned so much from so many people. My parents taught me to be determined, Delos taught me to have faith in my dreams and in myself, to not care about those people that said ‘no’ or ‘don’t do this’. And most of all, Edouard taught me to love, to care and how to try to be a better person.
Papageno has become a result of all of this. A test to myself.
Sometimes people question me. “You do realise that this is a big responsibility, Elizabeth?”
I stare at them blankly. I am fully aware of what I have done, what I have decided, of the path that I’ve told myself I will climb.
People climb mountains every day.
I can do this. I will do this.
We will do this.
Psssst! We are also now on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/c/earlewrites
You can also help another way by buying one of my books or visiting my shop of tees or my NEW section of limited edition art prints and original paintings. I hope you like! Much love!
Thank you as always! Lizbef x