It’s an hour before midnight. An hour before the new year rings in and gives us all a fresh slate to begin with. I know we all get a new chance to start again with each day, each hour, each minute. But there feels like something prevalent and powerful with the new year in bringing changes around us.
We want to change, make a difference, start a new path.
Maybe we want to put past experiences behind us, move forward, try different directions and keep our heads up.
The New Year is a chance for everyone at a shot of redemption.
For me, the New Year is a chance to try even harder. For the first time in my life, I feel as though I’ve found my direction.
Two years ago I was completely lost. I had been in and out of love, had gained and lost jobs and had forgotten what it was to have hope in a path for myself. I trusted to continue slogging on, to ever hope and to ever dream that changes would come.
I thank my world for Delos, for dragging me out of a world where I put importance on the trivial things. It taught me so much about life, about taking risks and living amongst others. I thank the world for Edouard, for teaching me what it was about to truly fall in love with someone and to embark on an incredible journey that would take us across the world together. I thank the world for Papageno, for teaching me how to grow, become stronger and resilient, and for teaching me that I cannot live my life by what others think of me or their expectations. I must carry on pursuing my own happiness.
I thank the world also for being born into circumstances where I am privileged to grow up in a safe country, to have a supportive family, to be educated, to be heard, to be valued.
So many other people don’t have these things in their lives and I must acknowledge how important they are.
A lot of people step into the new year saying “good riddance” to 2018. But for me, it has been one of the greatest years of my life. I have gained and lost so much, but I still look at this year with so much fondness and love.
I am honoured to know people like yourselves, to have your never-ending support and encouragement. You are the people that make me think, “Yeah! I can do this!”
I have so many plans for the new year, and I want to focus time into my health to make me the best person I have be for Papageno.
I will be doing Dry January (no alcohol for a month), I’ll be running several times a week and walking Leela 3 times a day, I’ll be cutting down meat consumption and being more creative with food, I’ll also be quitting smoking. I want to be strong for Papageno and strong for myself.
I’ve learned a lot by those who wanted to keep myself and Papageno back. Learning from those who told me I couldn’t do it, sending hate and unkind words. Because- we’re here. I’m proud of who I am (and believe me, it took a long time for me to accept myself.) I have to be kinder to myself.
And so I encourage you guys to do the same. Be kind to yourself.
If you get something wrong or fail- don’t beat yourself up about it. Acknowledge it, learn from it and move on. And my other advice is if you have a dream, no matter how big and small, ignore the naysayers. For the love of Neptune and all things great, go for it. Write that amazing story for your life and live your truth. Go for that dream you’ve always wanted to pursue and chase it to the ends of this earth- even if it doesn’t work out. Try, try and try again.
Because we can all say that we’ve fought for something we’ve believe in.
And we have to believe in ourselves.
Whether it’s small challenges or dreams you want to set yourself- doing that 5km run or seeing those friends you haven’t seen in so long, to opening your own biscuit or soap making business or even getting your own boat or van project. Do it. Go for it.
Because there is value to the dreams we chase. To what we believed in when we were children.
My dad turned around to me and pointed out that my friends and I still did the same things we were doing ten years ago.
“And isn’t that great?” I said with a smile. “Isn’t that wonderful?”
Today we spent the day in an English village, swinging across a freezing river on a rope swing, cackling and laughing, children and elderly couples watching us with smiles and bemusement on their faces as they waited for someone to fall in (and yes someone did- luckily not me).
The point I’m trying to make- is live your life. Laugh as much as you want. Dance as much as your feet will carry you and sing until all the birds fly away.
Thank you for your hearts. Know that I treasure each and every one of you.
All of my love and gratitude, Lizbef. x