Well tomorrow is the big day.
I become a proper adult and start living in my own home. I’m renting, but you know what I mean. The apartment is set inside this big building above! It used to be a house but got separated into apartments. Mine is at the very top! I’m going to get fit walking up 4 flights of stairs I think!
I’ve been working hard on my paintings and it’s been a relief to be in an environment where I can find a bit of peace. Tomorrow comes with a lot of changes and I’ve never been very good with that.
I just want to get settled.
As you know I’ve been living with my mate Steve and I’m scared to leave. There’s a comfort in these four walls. My friends come and go all of the time. I have my bedroom here, the comfiest bed, I have my space on the sofa, my blanket and the side switch that makes the seat pop out.
But there’s always a time to step out of your comfort zone.
And that’s tomorrow.
I’ve realised a few things whilst I’ve been here. I need to make even more changes. I’m going to be kind to myself and accept the fact that I’ve been adjusting to life back in England.
I know it’s been a while, but sometimes I still think of Edouard. Of course I do. It’s natural. Sometimes I wish I could go back and just relive that first day in Paris together over and over. But that’s a dream and I need to wake up from it. I need to preoccupy my mind. I’ve been looking for distractions a lot recently, and I’ve been waking up with a sore head on more than one occasion. But it’s time to start pouring my energy into constructive ways.
Going to the gym.
In October I wrote nearly every day. It was a great comfort- a cheap form of therapy as I poured my heart out to the world. Now it’s pretty much December, I’m ready to start writing again properly. I’ve been dying the past year to throw myself back into my Maddox Black series. It’s been a year since I wrote anything on it, and the last time I wrote a piece of fiction was in June this year about a girl who went back in time to 1922 (time travel is a fantasy of mine.) It’s time to get a schedule. Become organised. Motivated.
I really want to develop something where Papageno can give back. I think we’re ready to start building something. But I don’t know in which direction. So, if you have any organisations that are close to your heart, please let me know. I want to be a part of animal conservation efforts, humanitarian efforts and ocean preservation efforts. All of these ideas, intentions and I’m planning on 2019 to be a big year for us.
All I know is that I want Papageno to be independent and to do all she can to make a difference.
One of the reasons why Edouard was upset on the boat was because he felt that we weren’t involved in helping the community. He was a part of such amazing solidarity projects back in France that it went against his principles to simply do nothing.
“We have to get established first,” I would tell him. “We’re trying to build a base so we can make a bigger difference.”
But now he is making his own difference.
And it’s time I did too.
I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Coming up with ideas and talking with likeminded people. About possibly taking groups of people out to places to build up schools or assist with medical supplies. Or it could be arranging teams of people to do beach clear ups or fundraising for children afflicted by life altering illnesses. And then there’s homelessness.
So many different things I feel for and it’s time now to create the start of something. I knew Papageno would always do something to help. That was my promise.
I was hoping to develop a range of products to specifically raise funds for these intentions or arrange fundraisers. But I know things take time, planning and good people.
So I’ll be setting up my shop in my new flat with my mum and sister and we’re going to be sitting down and figuring out how we can make EarleWrites a success so we can make an actual difference in the world. The Papageno Project has to be about something. It has to MEAN something.
I went to bed last night, wondering what I wanted from life.
What I wanted to achieve.
And that was all I could think about as my head touched the pillow. About how I could try and make a difference.
About how excited I was to wake up and continue making new items by hand, painting, working with ceramics, answering emails about your family portrait commissions.
Sometimes I get a longing for the place I’m supposed to be. I have no idea where that is yet. All I know is that I have to carry on doing my best, carry on doing what is best for me and Leela and keep Papageno alive.
I still have a while to go in some self healing, but I hope my new home will become a haven for me. A place to be safe, secure and to encourage more self love for myself.
I can’t wait to show you the first episode of The British Diaries, so I thank you for being patient with me as I create it and have another move in my life.
As a BIG thank you, I would love to give you all a 25% off all Limited Edition Prints in the shop! Just type in 25OFFXMAS and head over to get some of that Christmas shopping done!
As always thank you.
Leela and I send you our love and cuddles!
See you in the Earle Apartment!
“Ride the Storm!” Limited Edition Print
Limited edition high quality art print of watercolour painting done by salty sailor of SV Delos Elizabeth! We are faced with storms every day. I wanted to create something that immortalised the fighting spirit we all have inside, thinking of the sailors of old as they rode the storm years ago. If they can do it, so can we! Printed on high quality Marseille 300gsm aquarelle paper. Dimensions: 21cm x 29.7cm
“Let’s talk about Kevin.” Limited Edition Print
Limited edition high quality art print of watercolour painting done by salty sailor of SV Delos Elizabeth! Well you guys voted on his name! Here’s Kevin, the octopus- one of my favourite ink drawings with watercolours. I love watching David Attenborough’s Blue Planet and whenever he speaks about these creatures, my eyes are glued to the screen! I’m not saying I’d like to swim with one- but wow! They are amazing creatures! Printed on high quality Marseille 300gsm aquarelle paper. Dimensions: 21cm x 29.7cm