The French Diaries: Part 22 “Planning for Papa!”

Another week is gone and I’m no longer in France. I’m in Australia, baby!

It’s been a year since I last saw my parents as I said goodbye to join Delos. They didn’t want me to go and I’m pretty sure I broke their hearts a little. I had originally left the UK, so I could start a new life in Australia. I had felt an unease in my stomach, knowing that I was supposed to be doing something bigger with my life.

I think I’ve felt like that since I was a child. Unsatisfied with the reality. Knowing I should be somewhere else. That I should be on a different path.

And it’s within reach, just beyond the horizon. The countdown has officially started. We have just over two months left.

Edouard isn’t much of a social media person, but he’s excited to share his story with everyone. It feels wonderful to be doing this as a team. We’re going to be signing the title of Papageno any day now as I finally paid off the remainder of her. It feels great to know that I did it without taking out a loan- thanks to you guys buying my art, your contributions and a little bit of hard work, I achieved a huge goal.

I can’t wait to put BOTH of our names on the title. I think that’s important. It will be our home- our project. We will be doing this together as a team. We will start this united.

It’s been incredible watching the YouTube videos back from SV Delos and watching our story from the start. And it’s been even more special reading your comments and responses.

However, I always knew that it would be inevitable that you would get people who wouldn’t like some members of the crew. Karin warned us from the beginning. That’s just the way it is. As soon as you open your life to the public, you can’t really complain when people say bad things about you.

Most negative comments go over my head. I have a thick skin. But in all honestly, some things really surprise me. Some comments that people write actually sadden me- not because of the vile things they say about me or my crew members, but I’m more saddened by the fact that they have taken the time out to sit before the computer and unleash their poison onto the screen. Maybe they don’t know the effect their words can have. Or maybe they do. Maybe they take pleasure from that.

I don’t expect everyone to love me or even like me.

But in all of my life, my mother always told me, “If you’ve got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”

So I suppose that’s why I find it difficult sometimes, understanding from their point of view. But in the big picture, maybe that doesn’t even matter. I’m not here for the people that don’t have any love for me. I’m not going to turn to those who throw negativity my way and ask for their advice.

I want to share this journey with you guys and no one else. People who can share good vibes and friendship. We’re all after the same thing after all. A release. An escape. An adventure.

And aren’t those things more fun when you get to do it with friends?

Edouard will soon be on the episodes and I’m afraid for him to get hurt. I don’t want him to read things from cruel people about him. Maybe he wouldn’t even care. I can’t help it- I’m so protective over him. But we both want to share our journey, so we know it will be inevitable.

It’s like knowing you’re going to go on an incredible hike, but you have no shoes. You want to watch that beautiful sunset but know you’re going to have to make sacrifices of comfort to get there.

But we will, and we’ll do it with happiness in our hearts, good will and respect for everyone.

And rum.

I think rum will help.

Time is fast approaching for the big move, so here are the dates I have.

•         Return to Marseille from Australia 13th of March.
•         Pack up home, sell what we can and leave Marseille 10th April (or earlier)
•         Week long road trip to the north of France, stopping to visit Edouard’s friends in the mountains and countryside towards his parent’s home to spend some quality time.
•         Go to a family wedding on the 21st April in Paris.
•         Head out on a 2-week road trip around Britain in Edouard’s car.
•         Return to France for Edouard’s dad’s 60th birthday on the 9th May.
•         Leave for British Virgin Islands as soon as possible after. Maybe 12th May.

For now, I’m enjoying my time in Australia. I’m actually breathing a sigh of relief as I sit here with a glass of white wine. I find it so hard to relax sometimes, always feeling like I should be productive or doing something. When I finish a project, I’ll often start another one.

The big project I had been working on was The Delos Story. I’m very happy to say that I have completed the first proper edit and handed it over to the crew for them to read. And then once they hand it back for me to do any changes, I’ll do a second edit. For now, I have no editing to do for about a month whilst they go over what I’ve done.

I’ve also paid off the remainder of Papageno. So two huge tasks have been completed. Done. Sorted. I am relieved beyond, well… relief, I suppose! I have a restlessness within me as I’m trying to be productive, staring at the ceiling at night wondering how I can make Papageno a success, how I’m going to fix her, where I’m going to get the parts, what logo I’m going to have- everything!

Edouard is in Nepal at the moment in Kathmandu. He has no signal at the moment and I won’t hear from him for a week as he works with his association to bring aid to the villages.

Sometimes I think I really don’t deserve that man.

I can’t wait to see him in two weeks’ time, but I’m also having a very special time with my folks. They’re true Brits, enjoy a gin and tonic or a beer, so I’ve settled in right at home. I was worried what they thought about my endeavour at first, but it seems as though I’ve got nothing to worry about. I know they’re proud of me.

“You can come over whenever you want!” I say to my dad.

He raises an eyebrow at me. “I don’t know, love,” he says with a wink. “You know your mother. She only likes five stars.”

But I want them to come onto the boat, even if it’s just to say, “While you live under my roof, you’ll obey my rules!”

I can’t wait to see my dad’s face when I say his favourite line.

For now, it’s a very peaceful time in my life. Full of a lot of joy and gratitude. I am surrounded by so much love and feel so much thankfulness I often don’t know how to put it into words.

This journey could have been very different. I’m always saying how grateful I am to Delos and I’ll say it forever more. My loyalty is theirs forever.

And knowing that I will shortly see them again makes my heart feel very full. To have Edouard by my side as we exchange stories, laugh with the crew and talk about anything and everything.

I’m counting down the days until I see Edouard again. But I’m valuing each moment with my folks, soaking up the sun while I can and trying to learn how to relax. I’m as excited and afraid as he is about this adventure. About the work involved, how much it will cost and the arrival of our newest crew member (oh yeah, I’ll get to that next week). We’ve got a lot to figure out, what camera equipment we need, diving suits (Edouard is a diving instructor as well so we can’t wait to get back underwater!), sorting out our shop- and getting our new crew tee shirts!

It’s a huge deal this new endeavour. Each night in Australia I’ve been lying awake until 2:30am, too excited to be able to sleep, my mind spinning with plans and ideas. Edouard and I realise that we’re leaving everything we’ve known in our lives to take this plunge, this risk, this jump into the big unknown.

But we know we’re not alone.

Not when we’ve got you guys!

Want to help the adventure? You can help towards our boat repair fund for new masts and rigging by donating here! 

Psssst! We are also now on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/c/earlewrites

You can also help another way by buying one of my books or visiting my shop of tees or my NEW section of limited edition art prints and original paintings. I hope you like! Much love!

Thank you as always! Lizbef x

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